Firecracker

by XF4ever -- xf4ever2001@yahoo.com 

MSR, Angst

Rated R for language and implied sexual situations

Post Existence

~~~

Compact, combustible, capped with fire.  Capable of taking your hand
off if you get too close.

He lifts his drink to his lips, tasting the liquid.  Same as before,
sweet with a bite.  Warming.  Like her.

He's been that close.  He still has both hands.  He looks down at
them, staring at the joints, the long digits curling around the
glass.  The ring.  He looks back up at her.

She scans the room, oblivious to the attention she's receiving.
Oblivious or uncaring, the result is the same.  Her purpose is
singular.  She's looking for him.

Looking, searching.  Questions -- so many questions.  So few
answers.  Never enough answers.  Never enough proof.  She challenged
him.  Infuriated him.  Helped him.  Transformed him.  Made him work.
Made him whole.

She believed in him.

"Jesus, Mary and Joseph..."  The man on the stool next to him
mutters, watches her with his eyes.  Roving, hungry, shallow.  He
wants to fuck her, seeing only the pretty firecracker wrapper.
Can't assign blame for that, he wanted to fuck her himself, the
first time he met her.  It was an animal impulse, a purely
physiological reaction.  Can't control the way people react, even
this guy here at the bar.  Half of the guys here in this room, for
that matter.

'Five foot two, eyes of blue...'

Blue eyes, icy blue.  Not cold -- blue flames.  Lit from within.
Firecracker.  He takes another drink, feeling the heat as the
alcohol glides down his throat.  She will find him.  Look into his
eyes, take him home, into her bed, into her body.  Love him without
condition, without question.  Heal him.  Make him feel worth
something.

The guilt rears up again, unwelcomed and undesired.  He doesn't
deserve her.  Her love, or her understanding.  Doesn't deserve
everything she's given him.  What the hell did he do to get so
lucky?  Everyone else left, but she stays.

She stays.  More than that, she follows.  She heals.

She approaches the bar, her blue eyes fixed on his.  The guy next to
him stares.

"Is she with you?" he asks, incredulous.

Yes, he replies silently, taking another drink, still staring at
her.  She's with me.  Always with me.

Her eyes hold no accusation, no pity.  She looks up at the bartender
and smiles softly.

"Thanks, Lucy."

Lucy glances over at him solemnly.  Smiles politely at her.  "Been a
long time."

"Yes, it has."

Has it been awhile?  He supposes so.  He's been busy.  Abduction,
death.  Work.  Birth.  Marriage.  Life.

Life.  He has a life.

She is next to him.  Her hand grazes his arm softly, slides over his
hand.  Life.

"Hey."

He turns his palm up, entwining their fingers.  "Hey."  So eloquent.
So suave.  So...drunk.

Why is he here?

"You okay?" she asks.

He nods.  Life.  That's why he's here.  Life.

"I'm sorry," he mumbles, turning to pull her into his awkward arms.
He feels like a schmuck.  He knows he smells like booze, but she
holds on, squeezing him tight.  Making him feel worth something.

She sniffs.  "I know this is a surprise, Mulder, but I didn't expect
it to be this much of a surprise."

He pulls away first, blinking with bleary eyes.  "Are you okay?" he
asks.

She looks at him and smiles.  A glowing smile, like a lit
firecracker, sparkling.  Waiting to explode.  "I'm fine."

"Where's William?"

"With grandma.  He's spending the night."

"How long?"

She tilts her head at him.  "She'll bring him over in the morning.
We can go get him if you want..."

He shakes his head, laying a hand on her abdomen.  It is still flat
and firm.  "How long?"

She smiles, blooming, and the warmth swells inside of him.  Who is
the firecracker now?

"Beginning of April."

He bites his lip, blinking back tears.  "I'll be there," he
whispers.  His tongue feels thick.  Unmovable.  "I'll be there.  All
the way."

Her eyes fill with tears, but she smiles.  "I know you will."

He stands.  There is a prickling sensation in his feet, like dull
needles.  Gravity pulls at him.  He sways, but she is there,
supporting him.  He reaches into his pocket for the bills he'd
pulled out of the ATM.  Tosses them on the bar.  Leans against her
as she helps him to the door.

Sizzling, snapping, popping.  Firecrackers explode nearby,
Independence Day celebrations extending beyond the spectacular
lights in the sky.

Life.  Together, they celebrate life.

~~~

Firecracker
- 2 part(s) Goldschlager
- 1 part(s) Bacardi 151 Rum
- 1 dash(es) Cinnamon